| Remember that in your teenage years you rely on your parents and family for financial support. This may sound materialistic, but if you suspect your parents will react negatively to your coming out, it may be better to leave it until you are financially independent. Ask yourself these questions: Do I have a place to go if I’m forced to leave home? Do I have back-up financial support if my parent cut me off? Be practical when thinking about coming out. It’s harsh but important. | |
Some say coming out to girls is easier than to boys as they are often more open-minded and not governed by matcho image. Start with a female friend if you think this might be easier.
Talk to other gay people about their experiences of coming out. This will give you insight and strength. See the Links section for gay youth groups and the listings at GayYouthUK. Don't forget the coming out stories on bgiok. |
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 My closet. As you can see, there's so much shit in it, that I couldn't get back in if I wanted to! |
Parents often have images in their mind of how your life will pan out, images of a wedding and children. These images will have to change after you come out, and that’s tough for parents. They want what’s best for you and for you to be happy. Parents sometimes associate homosexuality with being confused, unhappy and unfulfilled. Parents also worry their gay child may be in danger, from the risk of HIV and violent same-sex partners, especially in the case of men. It will take time for them to see that you are happy and can have a very fulfilled and safe life as a gay person. | |
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| Parents worry that your being gay reflects on the way they brought you up. They may feel they failed as parents in some way. Reassure them that being gay just happens in nature and it’s no mark of parental failure.
Remember, your parents come from a different generation, a more homophobic time. Accept they may find your coming out difficult. Be patient. Letting go is tough for them, but being gay is not a rejection of their lifestyle or values. |
Telling a trusted friend may be the best place to start. You’ll need their support later when moving on to telling your parents.
Choose a time to tell your parents when they are relaxed and not in the middle of an upheaval or upset of any kind. |
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| Parents may worry about telling other people that their child is gay; they may even be embarrassed. Be ready for this.
Consider telling one parent first, perhaps one you feel will handle your coming out better than the other. This may prove easier, but also consider the other parents feelings; will they feel rejected? |
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