Help!

[superman]

This may sound extremely wierd. I am 11, male and not sure if I am gay or not. Of course, I've looked on this forum's main website. It's got all the advice, but not for what 11 year-old should do.


P.S. Don't frown on me for this but I accidentally clicked on one of those All American Guys promo vids on Youtube, watched it and started mastribating (sp?)

Thanks for reading because I need advice on what to do.

[Professor]

This is a very difficult question for anyone apart from yourself to answer.

Unfortunately, at such a young age, it's very difficult for you to answer too. That's not to say it's impossible to know you're gay at the age of 11. Some people know for a long time before then. I probably should have been able to, there were enough clues, but I wasn't until I was about 14.

The thing is, it's not about clues. You can't decide you're gay by how much you like the colour pink or because you've had a crush on a guy. People do go through phases (although it's extremely annoying to be told by someone else that you are when you know you're not) and you're at an age were your feelings can be really confusing.

All I can say is don't worry. Clearly you have some attraction to guys; so maybe you're gay or maybe you're bisexual. Or maybe it's just a passing thing and you're straight. Be patient, and try not to think about it too much. By thinking about it and trying to work it out through clues and such like you'll only get yourself more confused. Just relax and with time the answers will become clear.

You've got a long time to work yourself out and if you manage to realise you're gay at the age of 11 then you'll have achieved something most people on this forum haven't. You should be very proud of yourself for even considering the possibility, whatever the outcome is.

Good luck, and remember you can always find advice here.

[imnotinlove]

Firstly, welcome!
All I can do really is echo what the Professor has already said. In the next couple of years you will learn so much about yourself so don't feel as if you have to tie yourself down to a label. I did that and then I had a bit of a thing for a guy and it freaked me out because I was sure that I was 100% gay. Anyway that "thing" passed and now I'm comfortable saying that I'm gay though I'm not ruling anything out. I mean for now I count myself as just gay but as for what will happen in the future I don't know.
This is such a big cliche what I'm about to say but I'm going to say it anyway! These next couple of years of your life will be your best! I mean I've just turned 17 and I thought a lot about the wasted opportunities in the past and I wish I'd enjoyed my freedom while I had it because now I spend most of my time writing essays/doing drama (which I secretly love...). Basically don't worry about it and just think about enjoying yourself and discovering yourself along the way.
Best of luck!

[KarateKid]

First of all welcome to the forum. I think that is a very brave thing to do to even come on here looking for advice at such a young age. I would say that the professor has summed up most things really. It is possible to realise your sexuality at 11, though normally people only recognise this when they are older and looking back. You are asking what you should do, but really do you feel you need to do anything. Sexuality is only one part of you, not the whole thing, and I certainly wouldnt be in a hurry to label yourself as anything at all really. You will go through a lot of changes over the next few years in terms of growing up both physically and emotionally, and I think its important to try and feel happy with your own feelings. Certainly I would say dont do anything that you feel uncomfortable about doing, or feel that you have to tell everyone how you feel. There are certainly free helplines that are confidential that you could talk things over with people if you wanted to, and of course you can always get support from the guys on here if you want to talk things through.

[Alice]

I agree with what other people have said and I'll probably end up repeating it, so sorry about that.

I'm not saying that you're wrong about this, but try to avoid labelling yourself too quickly. I think the same thing applies to people of any age who are beginning to realise this sort of thing. It's annoying, but the way to be most sure seems to just be waiting. Remember that there's nothing wrong with liking the people that you like.

Unfortunately, I don't think there is all that much you can do exactly. Even if you are certain, I probably wouldn't recommend telling people just yet. Most people your age are unlikely to be mature enough to deal with it. (I had this problem even when I was older than you are now.) You'd also be likely to be told it was just a phase, which can be very frustrating.

You're unlikely to find many people your age who have realised or admitted that they're gay, but if you want to talk to other gay people this is a good place to be. Eventually, you will get to know gay people in real life. If it comes up in conversation, try to make it clear that you're not homophobic.

Finally, your post doesn't seem weird at all. It is true that most people don't work this stuff out until they're a bit older than you, but that doesn't say anything bad about you.

[DylanC]

11 is a young age to be questioning your sexuality. i hope your not gay. i love being that gay kid at school and all, but your just a kid. so young. so full of innocence. you dont deserve to lose that. and just masturbating to guys doesnt make you gay. it may mean your bi, confused, gay, or just experimental. its too early to know for sure, kiddo.

[Proud]

*Masturbating

[Alice]

I don't think that being gay takes away your innocence. I guess that it can make you more mature because you realise the value of being tolerant. Just don't jump into anything too fast.

[Proud]

11 is a young age to be questioning your sexuality. i hope your not gay. i love being that gay kid at school and all, but your just a kid. so young. so full of innocence. you dont deserve to lose that. and just masturbating to guys doesnt make you gay. it may mean your bi, confused, gay, or just experimental. its too early to know for sure, kiddo.

Agree with above, you are over exxagerating alot. Like, being gay ruins your life. I say, decide when you think you are mature enough to make a desicion. You don't need other people telling you when you are ready.

[Spud]

Agree with above, you are over exxagerating alot. Like, being gay ruins your life. I say, decide when you think you are mature enough to make a desicion. You don't need other people telling you when you are ready.

Being gay does not ruin your life at all! You can still live a perfectly normal, happy, healthy life and be gay. This guy has obviously come here because he is looking for help to understand what he is feeling, he is obviously worried about it and I'm sure we all know how that feels, so being told on a support website the same message that he has been getting from the straight community. My advice is that you will never discover your sexuality unless you explore it, you are 11 so are still very young and just starting puberty so you are just need to give yourself time to work out who you are, and not be ashamed by it. Hope it helped